May 30th, 2019
Did you ever wondered that common phrases you use in your emails might have very different meaning in sarcastic mind of burned out HR director?
Bellow you can find a sample of what they might look like:
* Thank you for applying at our company – You are speaking with a robot
*I found your profile on social platform – I just stalked you
*Hope that my email finds you well – If not, I don’t really care…
*Thank you for your understanding – Yep, I don’t care about this one either
*I look forward to reviewing your application – I would rather do something else with my life
*Feel free to contact me – At least you can try…
*Let me know if you have any additional questions – Don’t even try, I have no time for it anyways
*I’ll get back to you ASAP – I’ll get back to you After Screaming At Printer
*The goal of this interview is for us to get to know you better – Before we give you a job, we need to make sure you are not a psychopath
*The organization is recently going through transformation – this ship is sinking
*Welcome on board – now you are sinking too
*Your position will be flexible – Expect more responsibilities than we mention in the job description
*As we discussed – No one ask you for your opinion anyways
*Speak to you soon – We both know that this might never even happen
*Hope this helps – I’m not willing to put more effort in it
*Have you had a chance to read my previous email? – can you read?
*We like your passion and energy! – we are not taking you seriously
*We regret to inform you that… – I refused so many applicants today I run out of empathy
*We will keep your resume in our talent database – your CV will end up in our talent mythical black hole and won’t be found never again… and yes we are not taking you seriously either 😛
If this put at least a smile on your face, than share it with somebody who will enjoy it as much as you did.
Disclaimer: Please note that this article was written as a pamphlet, only for amusement purpose. 😉